just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
