I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
