If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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