I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
