How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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