I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
