Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
