So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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