Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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