Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
