im having a threesome with these popsicles
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
