Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
