Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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