Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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