but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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