I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Randomize
