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  • asshole

    Submitted by fuckin_a on Sep 20, 10 at 3:30pm
  • Hmm, you could mean two things by this. Either you a) cheated on her because you were so plastered that you couldn't even recognize faces, or b) use alcohol as an rationalization for your behavior. Either way, the above is a pretty strong indictment of your character, dickhead.

    Submitted by TMedStud on Sep 20, 10 at 5:41pm
  • I'd cheat on your gf cause somebody gave you a couple shots? You're a dick dude

    Submitted by fogitnozzel on Sep 20, 10 at 3:38pm
  • RAAAAAAANDY.... Whaaaat a douchebag. Loser.

    Submitted by OneHottMess on Sep 20, 10 at 6:02pm
  • So yer cheatin on her with a bottle of jb? If yer dick can fit in the neck of a jb bottle then i don't think yer gf really cares what u fuck as long as it's not her. On the other hand if it u needed a mickey bigmouth...

    Submitted by mr_sphincter on Sep 20, 10 at 9:59pm
  • Too bad u need to get drunk first. She prolly could cheat on u without having to drink first.

    Submitted by IMGr8NU on Sep 20, 10 at 5:33pm
    • It's not that I need to, it's that a fifth of jim beam will fubar anybody. Sorry you aren't old enough to drink yet.

      Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 20, 10 at 5:48pm
  • Why can't you break up with her FIRST then go run around, have sex with whomever you'd like and get someone preggo and/or give yourself an STD??? Save her the misery... Just saying.

    Submitted by PalmTree7104 on Sep 20, 10 at 10:22pm
    • Cuz cheating = fucking the sluttiest, dirtiest girl you can find right?

      Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 20, 10 at 10:51pm
      • You mean the type that go for men who are taken? Pretty much.

        Submitted by Taipan on Sep 20, 10 at 11:43pm
        • Im sorry youre a virgin and havnt learned that girls like a guy who's taken.

          Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 21, 10 at 1:09am
          • And I'm sorry you don't understand the concept of not being a complete dick. One day, you're going to cop an attitude with the wrong stranger and catch a healthy dose of fist to the face. Or an STD. Either way, it seems you're going to need a hard life lesson before you realize that your actions don't convey "cool"; they convey "I'm a piece of shit who can't control his impulses or his liquor."

            Submitted by TMedStud on Sep 21, 10 at 4:05am
          • you are a complete idiot, AND, you keep apologizing for people "not being old enough to drink" or for them being "virgins." btw, who the fuck are you? wanna let us all know when you finally pass the eighth grade?

            Submitted by highlikekites on May 16, 12 at 2:38pm
      • Oh, why didn't you say that before? I wasn't aware until now that the lack-of-slut factor made being a complete douche acceptable.

        Submitted by TMedStud on Sep 21, 10 at 4:08am
        • Its hilarious how mad youre getting. Are you that kid who hates the guys who get girls because you can't get any yourself? FYI, I've been in plenty of fights for being a douchebag so it's not much of a "one day it will happen" thing. And if you ever felt a vagina before you'd have the same impulses as any other guy.

          Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 21, 10 at 4:36am
        • Ooookaaay I know I made the same mistake but let's not feed the troll anymore you guys. It's getting fat. And attention.

          Submitted by Taipan on Sep 21, 10 at 8:07am
  • They can do just that, actually.

    Submitted by Taipan on Sep 20, 10 at 5:12pm
  • Lol she's prob doing the same to you except on purpose .... Laughing her ass off to her boy toy giggling about how your penis is so small is can fit in a in Jim bean bottle - your a tool!

    Submitted by jrosenroser on Sep 21, 10 at 3:03am
    • Pass 5th grade grammar and then start giving me life lessons, k?

      Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 21, 10 at 4:39am
  • Am I the only person left in our generation who still has that moment when my brain says enough and listens?

    Submitted by prophetchuck on Sep 21, 10 at 2:14am
  • Oh the prices you pay for STDs

    Submitted by ilovsbigones on Sep 20, 10 at 5:22pm
    • I forgot every single girl in this world has an STD, and I also forgot every single guy in this world uses unprotected sex.

      Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 21, 10 at 4:42am
  • It's called self control, ass clown. Anyone with half a brain knows not to drink that damn much because they'll be paying for it. If you can't do something without acting like a fucktard then maybe you shouldn't do it? Not too many of us women really enjoy whiskeydick anyway.

    Submitted by archer79 on Sep 21, 10 at 4:45pm
  • Have a 5th of hard liquor w/ bitches dancing around u

    Submitted by BIG_PELOTAS on Sep 20, 10 at 9:22pm
  • I'm sure you're a cheating douchenozzle with or without alcohol. Stop making excuses.

    Submitted by anonymouse4 on Sep 21, 10 at 8:00am
  • You're a winner now aren't you.

    Submitted by dumsumbitch on Sep 20, 10 at 11:01pm
  • That Raaandy dude seems to have something to prove. Maybe it's dick size--the less you have the more you gotta act like it. C'mon, Raaandy, respond with a douche comment. You know you want to.

    Submitted by goldenrae9 on Sep 21, 10 at 8:51am
  • What a douchebag. Your not cool or anything. I can think of only negative adjectives to describe you. Word from the wise, karma is a bitch

    Submitted by Nightmarica on Sep 21, 10 at 2:50pm
  • Heyyyy white trash RAAAAANDY! WTF is a "bottom bitch"?! You're right, I don't have one -I'm not a douchebag. You appear to be quite the dickhead though. Keep counting your lame ass TFLN publications. They suck more dick than the skanks you cheat with, only after your weak fifth of jim beam. Get some money you scumbag

    Submitted by OneHottMess on Sep 21, 10 at 5:19am
  • That's no excuse. You're a cunt.

    Submitted by CrimpyCrimpy on Sep 21, 10 at 10:39am
  • Good odds they cheat on each other and they are just a mutual steady lay.

    Submitted by cfreymarc on Sep 20, 10 at 7:17pm
  • you're the type of loser who posts a text that you personally wrote because you thought it was THAT hilarious, and yet you have to come on here, as was evidenced by all of your comments, intermittently in order to defend all of the presumably funny parts. You're a total ignoramus that needs to learn how to drink without being a complete douchebag.

    Submitted by highlikekites on May 16, 12 at 2:56pm
  • Dude, raaaaaaaandy....do you really want to respond to every comment??? That seems like a lot of hard work.....

    Submitted by hentailover on Sep 21, 10 at 4:46am
  • you're the type of loser that posts a text that you personally wrote because you thought it was THAT hilarious, but then you have to, as was evidenced by all of the comments you've posted, come on here intermittently to "defend" each presumably funny aspect of the text. You're an ignoramus moron that needs to get a life, learn how to drink, and give up your relationship and do the single thing. #dbag

    Submitted by highlikekites on May 16, 12 at 2:53pm
  • It's ok guys she can't hear any if this anyway cause some other guys slapping his balls on her chin

    Submitted by usarmyinfantry on Sep 21, 10 at 11:58am
  • Why dun u drink that much around ur gf n fuck her instead of some slut? Not that I'm calling ur gf a slut but she must b mental in someway to not realize ur a fucktard.

    Submitted by Maynecat on Sep 20, 10 at 11:00pm
    • cuz his girlfriend probably isn't on-call 24/7?

      Submitted by shitjustgotreal on Sep 21, 10 at 1:46am
      • Why the fuck would I get drunk to fuck my own gf? Every guy knows you never drink a fifth of god damn jim beam around your girl unless you're looking to get into trouble.

        Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 21, 10 at 4:38am
  • The massive baaawing in the comments is more lulzy than the text itself

    Submitted by Xatu on Sep 22, 10 at 8:59am
  • I'll answer what OP is saying with a quote "No" Amy Carter

    Submitted by prometheus on Sep 21, 10 at 1:25am
  • Cunt

    Submitted by teeenagedream on Sep 21, 10 at 1:04am
  • I'd rather the bf get plastered with me than in some random place and cheat on me. What's wrong with getting wasted with your bf/gf? It's like getting drunk with your best friend. Or it is getting drunk with your best friend! A couple that drinks together stays together.\nOh raaaannnndddyyy, you're a douche.

    Submitted by cldean3 on Sep 22, 10 at 12:31am
  • (CONT'd...)

    Submitted by OneHottMess on Sep 21, 10 at 5:22am
  • Ahh, the Beam and I got a complicated relationship...

    Submitted by sal1160 on Sep 20, 10 at 9:24pm
  • EPIC TRUTH

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 10 at 2:10am
  • Yeah, you can, it's called being a decent human being. You should try it.

    Submitted by iltby on Sep 22, 10 at 3:30pm
  • He can't get pregnant being sexual with another man so this doesn't really count as cheating, right?

    Submitted by sexyupsguy on Sep 21, 10 at 10:21pm
  • fucking classy

    Submitted by dudeimshawn on Sep 20, 10 at 9:39pm
  • Let's grow up, assholes. He'll do what he wants. It's a fucking website, get over yourselves your not helping anyone by bitching at him. Okay, thanks.

    Submitted by Wsupbitch412 on Sep 21, 10 at 7:37pm
  • I can relate to this guy. Jim and me are the best and worst friends.

    Submitted by roughneck on Sep 20, 10 at 6:19pm
  • Unless "Jim Beam" is a horny hooker, then yeah, I can.

    Submitted by SALIA on Sep 21, 10 at 3:06am
  • One day you'll find a girl you really love, and she'll leave you with aids and a bad itch.

    Submitted by conniecaro24 on Sep 26, 10 at 6:38am
  • Grow up, you immature motherfucker.

    Submitted by kippipie on Sep 21, 10 at 3:59pm
  • You stay classy, 818.

    Submitted by kristileo on Sep 20, 10 at 7:12pm
  • First

    Submitted by tunez33 on Sep 20, 10 at 3:27pm
  • ... His gf prob runnin round on him. Fuck her. Play on playa

    Submitted by jackdan on Sep 20, 10 at 4:32pm
  • Lmao this is text number 8 of mine. I'm awesome.

    Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 20, 10 at 5:45pm