I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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