You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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