I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
