And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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