dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
