turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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