He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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