He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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