my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Boobs are out for the taking
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
