dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My breasts were aching with rage.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.