Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.