like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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