Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him