I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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