Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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