it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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