But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
