It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
