Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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