dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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