Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
