I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
