Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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