he shaved USA in his pubs
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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