i just google imaged poop.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
