Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
