So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize