Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
