I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
