maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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