I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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