just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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