you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
