when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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