the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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