woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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