i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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