Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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