My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
