His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
