It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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