so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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