How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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