soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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