His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So here I am, sexting at work.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
