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(201): View more from New Jersey
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
- (+44): I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
- Whether you're celebrating or hating, we've got Valentine's Day covered: http://t.co/yUk7HBkG
- (570): They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
- (203): A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
- (940): Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
- (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
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