so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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