Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
