in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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