I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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