Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
